Going through a tunnel there is always a dim light at the other end, you know you are going to exit, you have confidence that the tunnel will end, and you will see the light again.
So why is it that when we are going through a dark time in our own personal lives that we can’t believe that we are able to get out at the other end?
Events in our life’s come and go like the wind on any given day, but it is the emotion that you attach to each event that will determine be how long that wind is going to blow.
You are either going to feel a breeze or it is going to blow you over.
I want to give you some assurance, the storm that you are currently going through is almost over, if you see the light, example, believe. Then there is sure to be an end.
The storms that are going through your life, can last as small or as long as you are wanting them to, you just need to adjust the emotion that you are giving to that event.
So, I want to start off today by asking you a question.
How do you see the events that you are going through in your life?
Do you see them as a single event that will teach you something and then move forward with your life?
Or do you constantly relive the events of your life, thinking about them all the time, trying to dissect why they happened to you, what you did to make it happen, negative thoughts like that.
I wanted to talk mainly about today seeing an event for what it is, A single event that you went through in your past.
Sometimes the feelings of these events can last longer, for example when you go through grief, there are proven stages that you go through. And each stage of grief lasts different for each personal person.
But everyone has control over how long that they stay in the stage.
Now I don’t want to focus on grief today, so I am going to move forward, I just wanted to give you the example that whatever you are going through, there is always a time that it will come to an end.
But how, how can you begin to end the storm that you are going through that has lasted longer than it probably should have.
The first thing is to understand that the event that is causing this storm in your life is just that, a single event.
There are events in our past that we go through, great events, maybe a vacation that you went on, your wedding day, yes even for those who went through a divorce, your wedding day was still a really good event.
Maybe the birth of your kids, for those who have them. What I am saying is we all go through positive and negative events, yet all we do is focus on those negative ones, when we are going through the storm.
When your mind goes into a reminder state of what you have been through in the past, say to it, Yes literally say to yourself;
“You know what (insert name here) that was a single event that I went through, it was neither good or bad, it was just an event.”
Then continue on with your day. Your mind is conditioned to protect you from painful events that are going on in your life.
So, what you have to do is train your mind to understand that these events aren’t as painful as we are making it out to be.
There are obviously painful events that we go through, and you have to go through the process, but not every event should make you feel this way.
Don’t add it on top of whatever you are already focusing on, then it just fills and fills and well you know what happens next.
The second point: Be in control of how you feel about each event that comes into your life, don’t let the event control you.
If you went through a tough event in your past, how did it make you feel, how do you feel about it today. When you think about that event are you still have emotions attached to it.
Here is something that you can begin to do, when you think about that tough event that you went though, start to see it differently.
Close your eyes, see the event from someone else’s point of view, see it like you weren’t the one who went through it.
Your mind is a beautiful tool if you use it correctly, now most of us aren’t, we are controlled by the events that we go through.
A little harder element that you can try and it usually takes time and a lot of personal development mindset training, is to find the positives about that event.
Like for example when my 16 month old son died if you were to ask me to find the positives about that event, a few years back, I would probably told you that it wasn’t possible, But it has been over 8 years now, and I see the big picture.
Yes, I would give anything to have my little man back, but it has been used so that I now work with people struggling with PTSD, I live a very purpose full life and I really look at each event as what it is.
I know that this is possible, I know that even when you have go through a horrific event you can live a life that is amazing, you can be fulfilled and live with passion and purpose.
I know this because I have experienced it, I have over the years seen the positives from that event that I went through.
So yes, finding the positives about an event is possible but it might take a little longer of a journey that the other steps.
Lets quickly recap of the 3 things that you can do to begin to get past that event that is keeping you trapped in the darkness and not able to see the light.
First – Understand that it is a single event
Second – Be in control of your emotions as you are going through events
Third – Try and find the positives in every event that you go.
So how do you begin to do this, well, I want to help you with that a couple of ways, first I have created a course, “Getting Past the Past” this is a quick 1 hr course that is going to give you the basic knowledge about moving forward past the event and beginning to build resilience in your life.
The second one is I have a few slots open for Coaching, now I know people are wondering how do you do coaching for a person with trauma.
When we go through coaching sessions, I don’t look into your past or ask you to relive it. We will work on your Future and how you want to live, we will create a life that you are wanting to live.
Do you know what you want in your life? Or are you just focused on what you don’t want?
Because whatever you focus on you are going to hit, weather you want to or not. So, begin to focus on the things that you do want.
I hope that this helped you out a little, and I hope that someday you can also turn your mess into your message, because there is good reason for crap in this world.
If you enjoyed, make sure you check out my Wednesday Wisdom sessions. Where you will have the opportunity to ask questions and begin your personal growth journey.
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