Making the decision

There are times in our life’s that we really don’t know what direction that we want to go in. We make decisions every day and well some are good, and some are probably not so good.

Today I wanted to talk to you about making decisions, I mean meaningful life changing decisions.

Right now, I am in a dilemma or a decision confrontation, there are 2 things that I need to decide, and I am weighing the options, but honestly what is weighting the options.

Just to give you the back story my family and I have sold our house and are traveling across Canada to Moose Jaw, I know you are probably thinking why moose jaw.

Well I put it out to the universe that if they showed me a signed of a moose that is where we believe that they would want us to stay. I know you are thinking what are you talking about, well I believe that we are guided everyday by the decisions that we make and sometimes if you are wanting to make a move in your life you can ask for guidance and that was what I did.

Our final plan is to go a bit further back to BC but for now our sign was to stop in lovely Moose Jaw for the Winter, we have never been there so for anyone who lives there look us up and help us out, LOL

Well moving on. That is the easy decision because on the day we were supposed to travel we were given a sign, the boys and me standing in front of the moose on one of our trips across Canada, well we took that. So, we know where we are going.

But when we get there, we are trying to decide air-BnB or rental place. Now we have sold everything so for us to get a rental place we are going to have to furnish it.

So, here is the big thing and the reason I went on about that, is we aren’t making a decision, we are bouncing back and forth weighting our options, going well what if we do this or what if we do this.

When you don’t make a solid decision, your mind begins to try to fill in the blanks, making decisions has to be done and that is that. Don’t bounce things, I know you have heard it before, go with your gut, or follow your heart.

What about burn your boats, how many of you have heard that expression.

When I am referring to burning your boats I am taking about an old fable about a captain that led his men to shore who were about to fight a battle, now these men were outnumbered probably 10 – 1, but the captain knew they needed to win this battle or die trying. What does he do, well he burns their boats, he removes their exit, he gives them only one decision, to fight and go after glory or die trying?

That is, I know, a little extreme but that is how all decisions should be made. Make the decision knowing that you are going to follow through with it.

Now that we have all that small talk out of the way I wanted to get into the main point to this today.

You have gone through a terrible experience in your past, and you are living in a state of depression, anxiety, regret, there are so many things that probably go through your mind on a given day.

But you need to make a hard decision, you need to decide that you are going to move your life forward, past the suffering that you have been through, yes it isn’t an easy task, but it will be worth it.

And you have to burn your boats.

You have to write down a target or goal that you want to go after, and don’t make it be something like “I don’t want to feel like this anymore”, because that is a “I don’t” target.

You need a “I want” target, something that you are going to go after, like “I am going to live a fulfilled life without regrets, achieving all of the goals that I put in place”

That would be burning your boats, that would be going for glory or die trying.

Now this isn’t a hard process to do, it’s harder to make the decision than it will be to follow the process because all you have to do is set a small intention every day that you are going to do or not do something.

What is it in your life that if you did or didn’t do it any more it would drastically change your life?

Would it be maybe when you are feeling like you are in a depressive state you purposefully go out and get a coffee or something, put yourself in a different environment.

What about when you are trying to sleep at night but can’t do it, maybe you want to reach for that prescription that you have been given but are sick of being controlled by the medication.

So, start journaling and anytime that you are up at night go and write it down, you are going to see whatever it is bothering you in your mind, and when you are fresh and ready in the morning you are going to find a solution to the problem that is going on in your head.

Obviously at night you are not in a resourceful state, but when you have slept you are. I find that there are many nights that I don’t sleep, actually I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a full night’s sleep, but I know that during the night when my mind is going, I write down the problem and then solve it in the morning.

I usually have 1-3 things to tackle that day from the night before, I know that many people would have a problem with this, but I haven’t made it a problem, I have turned it into a resource.

My best thoughts usually come during that REM time in sleep. That’s the Rapid Eye Movement time, the time when you are just going to bed and your mind hasn’t fully shut off.

So, what’s the main point that I am trying to get at today, make a decision, don’t bounce back and forth between 2 things. Decide right away and go after that.

Then create the best plan that you think will get you there, and well honestly it probably will happen a completely different way.

But that is the fun things about life, stop looking at life at this stressful decision-making process, it is fun and well things always work out in the end, whether it went the way you planned or not.

I want to just finish off by talking about habits, because decision making is the very first step in creating a habit in your life.

When you decided that you are wanting to do something you do it, right.

And this thing that you decided to do was fun, do you do it again, and again and again.

Now, guess what, you have a habit, you follow this initial decision so many times that it’s something that you habitually do, and habitually do and habitually do.

Now guess what, its apart of you, it is your lifestyle, things that you didn’t plan on ever being something that you do all the time, began with a small decision in the beginning.

Now these can be good habits or bad habits.

There are only 2 reasons why we do things in life.

One - to move us away from pain, two - to move us towards pleasure.

So, let’s say a depressive state, now we don’t choose to be depressed, but when we are, people are there for us or it is easier than trying to fake that you are happy.

Do you realize that your mind is controlled by your actions and your actions are controlled by your mind?

Isn’t that fun.

So, when you are looking to get out of a depressive state and your mind is telling you to just lie on the couch, you have to change your physiology.

Once you get up start moving yourself around, some would say distracting yourself, I say getting yourself back on purpose, well then, that decision is what is going to change your mind.

Or on the other hand when your body is just lying in bed and don’t want to move, you have to control your mind and start speaking good things to yourself, tell yourself things like.

“I am great and today isn’t going to be like yesterday, so it is time to get up and move forward.”

“Today is a new day, I am going to be in control of my actions today, let’s get up.”

Self-talk is a very resourceful tool to use, but most of us don’t use it properly

I want to finish off by saying, you have the decisions in yourself to change your life, change your path and do what you want, live how you want.

Don’t let the decisions of your past ruin your future, make the decision today to change the habits in your life.

Begin to live the life you want, don’t be controlled by your past, control your future.