Each of us has an opportunity to create a new life after a traumatic experience, one that if that trauma didn’t happen may not have been possible. I have found from my past experience that when I was dealing with my own pain that I must find a reason for this and if I can’t find a reason, I must create one in my own mind.
The main response to your brain from PTSD is a confusion state of the mind, it causes your mind to feel like things are still happening when they aren’t. There were nights when my 2nd born boy Kayleb was a baby, I would wake up thinking that we had to go to the hospital the next day for his treatment. When this wasn’t even the case at all. I was putting him in the same place that Lukas was, trying to create a new situation in my life to transform my thoughts that began to make sense again.
This is what happens in the beginning, the hypervigilance, the nightmares, the visions, these are your mind trying to give you the opportunity to change the situation that has already passed, because you feel that you responded wrong, you need to change it. But you can’t so it confuses the mind and causes pain within your emotions and keeps you alert ready to protect yourself again.
How is your life now that this experience has ended? What are the actions that you are taking every day? When you take a moment to reflect on what has happened how do you feel?
Do you have feelings of guilt or pain? Do you have feelings of unrest? Do you wonder what is truly next for your life? We all will have an awakening moment that takes us beyond our past, it takes us to a place that we can acknowledge what happened, learn from it and then begin the rebuild of our lives.
It will all begin with reflecting on what happened lead by personal development and awareness, when you begin to ask yourself the right questions about what happened this will give you the opportunity to step into your newer self.
If you are always asking lower self-questions or statements, why does this like this ALWAYS happen to me? Why do people hate me so much? I am such a failure. I am not worthy to be happy. The universe will make what you say a realization.
When you can begin to look back and reflect on the past as something that will help you grow into a better version of yourself, that is when your life transforms into a newer place. You see your life being created for you, for you to become a new being, someone that can take on bigger challenges because you have made it through this one.
Step 1 for ever situation that you are going through, is to acknowledge that it happened and this will begin the process for self growth, don’t relive the event you have already done that. But say “Ok this happened, now how am I going to move myself forward from it, what do I need to take and learn from this and what to I throw away that doesn’t matter anymore. When you do this is opens new doors of possibilities, it allows your inner growth to take place.
After you begin to accept that you have been through something that has shifted your life, you should begin to find that support network that will help you through this process. Just like when you break your arm, you must go to the doctor to get it healed properly, you can’t do it with trying to band aid it every day, it just won’t work.
The important part to this is to find what works for you. I remember when I was going through my process, I went to 4 different therapists until I found 1 that was ok and then I felt it really wasn’t the person it was the process that wasn’t for me, so I began to look for other resources to help. I went to personal development and coaching, that was what pushed me to the next level.
Therapy can be a great thing, but therapist focus on the past and I had already gone through the event, I didn’t want to go through it again, but coaching or personal development work on building your future despite what you went through in your past. Personal development is all about setting goals for yourself, learning about what you truly want and going after it on a daily basis.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t pay attention to what was going on through my symptoms and learning strategies to overcome them. Personal growth isn’t only about the future it is also living in the present, and there are days that my triggers or emotions would respond in a way that wasn’t who I wanted to be, so I needed to adjust that. But if I wasn’t paying attention to those, how would I know what needed to be changed?
Just like a mechanic will lift up the hood of a car and pay attention while it was running, I would do this on a daily basis through express journaling, I would have a situation that happened then I would write about why I felt it happened, the reasoning, the feelings that I had, then I would write how I would want to respond in the future and begin to create that for the next time, it happened
When you can begin to pay attention, your attention to what you want will change, this all begins on the inside and not the outside. This was one of the hardest realizations that I had. I had to understand that it didn’t matter what happened outside of my life, it was my react or response that gave it meaning.
There are events that could happen in my life and I would respond to them differently now that I have been focusing on my inner grow over my external realities. I want to remind you that outside of you there isn’t really much control in life, there are things that people will say to you, do to you, that you wont have control over.
The only thing you have control over is the emotions that you have towards them and the response that you give them because of what they have done. Or even the situation that comes into your life, may not be from a person but nature or the universe (GOD)
Things like a natural disaster, a disease, certain traumatic events, these are fully out of your control, but it is your emotions that give the power to these events in your life that allow them to either take power over you or fly by like it never really happened.
You have to start within to be in control of this, you have to know through self reflection what is going to give meaning to your life, what is going to cause issues or problems, what you enjoy and moves you into a place of bliss. This is all healing from within, or being guided from within.
Personal development is exactly that PERSONAL.
When you build your life for you knowing that there maybe, no there will be, things that are going to happen thar aren’t part of your plan, then you will be able to create the resilience that you need to be ready for them.
This is your personal journey and I commend you for already taking the time to begin your growth, to begin the work within you to move into a better place, something that is going to shift your life into where you want to go not where you have been, that is truly where your power is.
Take notice today the emotional response that you have to things that come into your life and see if you are reacting the way you want to, and if so, great keep going. If not, well then you need to make the adjustment and begin to build the life that you want.
You and only you are responsible for your life, you are the one who has to live it every single day, not take pride in who you are going to be today and moving forward, and work on that internally, to bring it externally into your life.
Your future starts now, believe this and it will come.
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