You Define Your Life

There are many things in our lives that we feel define us.

Our families, our careers, the people we hang out with and friends, yes those aren’t always the same.

Today I wanted to talk about how you define yourself, what is your definition of you?

Take a moment right now and think about that, if I were to ask you. “How do you define your life?” What would be the first thing to pop into your head?

Would you say “Well I am a…. and list of your profession”

Would you say “I am a dad or a mom? I am a husband or wife.

Are you defined by your success or failures?

Or maybe you are defined by what you are currently diagnosed with, PTSD, bipolar, cancer.

How would you define who you are?

However, you begin to define yourself is going to be how you are going to live your life. And today, I want to explain what I mean by this and show you how to change your definition in your life.

When you have a clear definition of who you are, you will begin to create a path or a plan for your life that will lead towards the person that you want to be.

We all have someone in our life that we want to become or are striving to become. And how you define yourself on a daily basis is going to determine if become that person.

So, who is it that you want to become? Now notice that that is a future tense question. I haven’t asked who you are today.

I one spoke to a client that talked about how they are defined by their disorder, they felt that every day they were at the Mental health Meeting.

“Hi, my name is _____ and I have PTSD” If you are saying that day in and day out whatever the definition is for your life. Every day you are going to wake up and be controlled by the disorder.

How many times a day have you said “ I can’t do that because…” and you list of the illness, disorder or handicap that will limit your life?

Walking around daily and saying that you have this or can’t do a task or something fun because of the disorder you are living with you are really limiting yourself.

But you need to believe within yourself that if you begin to change the words that you are telling yourself that you have the power to change the way that you are living your life.

Do you believe that your words have that kind of power over you? I personally do. I feel that if you tell yourself something, your mind is going to create what you have asked for.

Example- Think about a time that you didn’t feel like going to work and you wanted to call in sick. Then your body created that feeling of sickness, you started to get stuffed up, maybe a little nausea. You have said this is what you feel and then it has been created for you.

So, if you are consistently saying I can’t because you have a disorder or illness or handicap, well then it is going to be true and you will never be able to move forward past that.

Now think about what is causing you to feel this way, If you want to change the way your life is going you have to change what you focus on in your daily life.

When you get up tomorrow morning focus on the things that you want to do in your future.

What are the areas of your life that you are wanting to change, and don’t be specific with the diagnosis you have, that is obvious.

Do you want to change your health?

The way you eat?

Maybe ad a workout routine?

Go for walks regularly?

Do you want to work on your Relationships?

Maybe you’re not in one, but you want to be?

Are you in an unhappy one and want out?

Do you want to work on the unhappy one to make it work?

What about your Career?

Do you want a promotion? What can you do to get that?

Do you hate your job and want something more meaningful in your life? What action can you take to do that?

What about your spirituality?

Is there something that you want to work on there? Building Faith or more connected to the universe?

You see when I was talking about making all of these forward focused changes, I didn’t look into your disorder. That shouldn’t even come up in your daily routine.

You know you have it and the people closest to you know you have it but others who don’t know you, don’t need to know.

Focus on the things in life that you are going to go after. Those goals that you want to achieve in this life, those fun things that you want to do. But when you are always seeing yourself as someone with the disability then you are always going to limit who you are.

So my big question is What are you going to do next? Write it down, Go ahead write it down.

Then you will be able to focus on that, your mind will find different ways to make it happen because it is important enough for you to have written it down. This is what you should be focusing on every day, the goals that you are wanting to achieve, the things that you are wanting to do with your life.

If you put yourself in a resourceful state, you will be able to solve the problems in your life resourcefully.

Don’t get caught up in what you have been through, it is done. Yes, the pain that you have gone through has been tough, I am not going to say it wasn’t, we all go through times of pain, but there is no reason that the pain needs to turn into suffering.

Now it comes down to decision time. Are you going to continue down this same path that you have been going down?

Or are you going to get up, take back control of your life and live it the way you want to?

I can’t make this decision for you, no one can. This decision comes from you alone, that is the only way that it will stick.

Think about it, when your boss or employer tells you to do a task that you really don’t want to do, you might complete it because if you don’t you might get fired, but you really don’t want to do it, you doing it grudgingly and you are pissed of doing, especially if it isn’t in your job description.

But when you are doing something that you want and are having fun. It doesn’t even feel like work. Like when I was working in my garage, I loved it, building things and just spending time focusing on that.

So, you have to make the choice and yes, it is going to be a hard and it is going to be hard to change to.

You have been doing the I feel sorry for myself for so long that to get up and be confident and change your whole thinking and the way your life was going is hard.

The first few weeks are going to be a challenge and you might want to revert back, but please don’t, push though after about a month it gets easier.

You might think, what a month, I can never make it that far. And yes, you can, you have been living your life this way for so long. I know you can do it. I believe in you.

You are ready to define yourself; you can be and do anything that you want. You can define yourself in any way that you want.

Today make that choice, today become who you have always wanted to be.

Don’t be defined by what you have been through.

Be defined by the goals that you are setting in place.

Be defined by the person that you create.

Be defined by the uniqueness of you.